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Love reunites the adopted soul.

I’ll always remember the first time I saw my green card.  My mother, who was always very forthcoming about my adoption, casually handed me my green card while going through her desk files one day.  Without explanation, she presented it as if were any other baby picture — I didn’t ask any questions.

For years to come, a combination of curiosity and confusion would draw me back to my mom’s desk — secretly searching for answers about the baby named Elia Maria Ochoa.   Who are her parents?  What did they look like?  Why was she given up?  A lifetime of questions remained unanswered.

Looking back, I’m amazed by the blissful innocence of youth.  Childhood was a wonderful distraction to the inevitable feelings of loss that would soon fill my heart, antagonizing my soul.  As a child, I was adopted and that was that — life was no mystery.  Adoption was my identity and I was proud to share my story with anyone.

As an adult, adoption became more complicated.  The unanswered questions about adoption and identity were no longer dormant — manifesting as fear, anxiety, and depression.  I’d soon learn that these emotions were not atypical of adoptees.  I became a people-pleaser — constantly searching for identity, completion, love — but would prematurely end relationships to avoid potential rejection or loss.  A vicious cycle.

The cycle ended shortly after my 24th birthday.   Relieved that my lifelong search for love was over, I was unaware that it had just begun.  I married my best friend at the time, bought a house, had a baby — but remained incomplete. After the divorce I emerged a single mother — feeling more isolated than ever before.

Ironically, the isolation of divorce fueled my soul’s evolution as I soon began to discover who I was and my feelings about adoption, life and love.  My search for true love would soon continue — I was on a mission to find a love that would overcome the internal emptiness.  Love, it is said, is the most powerful force in the world…I can attest.  After years of disappointment and despair, love led me to my soul’s twin flame who I married on August 27, 2010.

As an adoptee, I continue to find inspiration in the power of love.  My birthmother, empowered by love, gave me up for adoption at a very young age.  Love fueled a very long and difficult journey for both me and my husband Alex — our souls are now complete.  The next step of this journey — the search for my birthparents — will put the power of love to the greatest test.  Fortunately, love never fails.